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I stood at the edge of something new, staring into the unknown. It felt intimidating—like looking into the heart of a roaring fire, knowing I had to step through it to reach the other side. I chose to begin a new journey, something I’d never done before. And though I was excited, I couldn’t shake the fear creeping in—the fear that I wasn’t cut out for this, that the flames would be too intense and my impatience burn me.

You’ve probably been there, too. When you start something new, it feels exciting at first, right? There is that spark of inspiration, something that ignites your desire to learn and grow. But then, the reality sets in. You realize it won’t be as easy as you thought. The process—this fire—tests you. And like metal thrown into flames, you feel the pressure, the heat, and sometimes, you wonder if you can withstand it.

For me, it wasn’t long before that excitement began to fade. The more I tried, the more difficult everything seemed. Each step forward felt like a struggle as if I were being forged in a fire that never cooled down. The learning curve was steep, and I was stuck at the bottom, looking up, unsure if I could ever climb it. It wasn’t just hard—it was frustrating. Every time I thought I’d made progress, something would happen to set me back.

I don’t know about you, but it’s easy to feel defeated when that happens. You start questioning yourself: Am I cut out for this? Why is it so hard? I should be better by now!

That’s when impatience starts creeping in. I wanted to see results—immediately. I wanted mastery without the struggle. This is a common problem of our time. But as in the forge, we have to endure the heat if we want to be shaped, refined, and transformed. I knew this on a surface level, but accepting it was a different story.

The first lesson I learned was that impatience is a trap. You and I—like so many others—get caught in this mindset where we expect instant results. But real growth, real learning, takes time. The learning process takes time to shape us.

It wasn’t just about the end goal, either. I realized that the process itself was what mattered most. Yes, It was tough at the beginning, but every struggle and every failure was part of the transformation. I had to stop focusing on how far I still had to go and start appreciating how far I’d come.

Breaking down the journey into smaller steps was the first key to staying on track. Instead of being overwhelmed by the enormity of what I wanted to accomplish, I started setting smaller, achievable goals. Each day, one small improvement. And you know what? It helped. Those small wins gave me the fuel to keep going, even when the bigger picture still seemed so far away.

But even with small victories, there were still days when I felt like giving up. Days when the fire of frustration burned too hot. That’s when I learned the importance of self-compassion. I had to remind myself that it was okay to make mistakes and that setbacks didn’t mean failure—they were just part of the process.

As Winston Churchill said: “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

We have to be kind to ourselves when things don’t go as planned. If you’ve ever been in this situation, you know how hard it is to be patient with yourself, especially when all you want to do is succeed.

At one point, I hit a wall. I couldn’t move forward, no matter how hard I tried. It felt like I was stuck in the flames, but instead of being shaped by them, I was just getting burned. That’s when I reached out for help. Insights that I couldn’t see on my own were offered. They helped me adjust my approach, gave me feedback, and showed me that I wasn’t alone.

That’s something we often forget. We’re not alone in our struggles. Sometimes, all we need is a bit of guidance and a different perspective, and suddenly, things start to make sense again.

With time, I learned to adapt. What I had originally planned didn’t always work, and that was okay. I learned to let go of unpliable expectations and try new things when something wasn’t working. Some of my best progress came from experimenting, failing, and then finding a better way.

And each time I hit a milestone, no matter how small, I celebrated. Those little moments of progress kept me going when the road felt long and the heat of the fire felt unbearable. Each victory, no matter how insignificant it seemed, was proof that I was moving forward. And with every step, I built resilience, that inner strength that made it easier to keep going, no matter how tough things got.

It was in those reflective moments—those times when I stepped back to see how far I’d come—that I realized how much I had grown. The person who had started this journey, full of doubt and impatience, wasn’t the same person who stood in the flames now. I had been shaped by the process, forged into something stronger, just like metal in the fire.

You see, the fire—those challenges and frustrations—it didn’t break me. It made me. And it will make you, too. Every time you push through the tough moments, every time you choose to keep going, you’re being shaped into something stronger. Every setback is a step forward in disguise, and every challenge is an opportunity to grow.

By focusing on the long-term vision, and by accepting that the journey is as important as the destination, you can find the strength to persist. And when you do, the fire will shape you into something far greater than you ever imagined.

In the end, it’s not about avoiding the flames. It’s about embracing them, knowing that they are part of what makes you resilient, patient, and strong.

So when you stand at the edge of the fire, unsure if you can withstand it—remember, you’re not alone. We all start as beginners. And with time, patience, and resilience, the flames that seem so intimidating will shape you into something you never thought you could be. Just like fire shapes metal, the challenges you face now are shaping you into something extraordinary.

Philip Lufolk